Now we've got evidence

ALERT:  This is an all-cars notice on two (three?) John Does suspected of annoying the living crap of out Bryan.  Biographic data is as follows:

Suspect Names: We've never bothered to find out.

No. of Suspects: Two.

Sexual Orientation: Other dudes.

Current Location: In Bryan's living room, watching his TV.  Or in Bryan's dining room, sleeping.

Offenses: Being the most two annoying people this side of Bryan's other roommate in DC; signing and giggling until the wee hours of the morning; always being around; being 19 years old and making me fear that maybe, just maybe, I used to be that annoying.

Evidence: Thanks to some stellar sleuthing work, we've turned up photographic evidence of the crime scene.  Due to high risk of contamination from the enormous amount of useless junk piled up, all officers are advised to enter with restraint, and not until having received proper protective gear and vaccinations.  The evidence is in the form of two photos, which are to be treated as classified:

This just in!  Photos of the perps at the crime scene, taken at 7 p.m.:

Verdict: Suspects are to be considered guilty until proven innocent.  Use of force authorized.  Station OUT.